Why Does My Child Have Trouble Understanding Jokes, Sarcasm, and Figurative Language?

Your child hears someone say:

“It’s raining cats and dogs!”

…and immediately looks outside for animals.

Or a teacher says:

“This homework will be a piece of cake,” and your child wonders what cake has to do with math.

Maybe a friend jokingly says, “Nice job!” after something goes wrong, and your child becomes confused or upset because the words don’t match what actually happened.

Language isn’t always literal.

As children get older, conversations become filled with jokes, idioms, sarcasm, multiple-meaning words, implied meanings, and expressions that require children to read between the lines.

For some children, understanding this type of language comes naturally. For others, figuring out what someone really means can be surprisingly difficult.

At BK Kids Pediatric Therapy in Joliet, IL, our Speech-Language Pathologists can help children strengthen the higher-level language skills needed to understand conversations, classroom language, stories, humor, and social interactions.

What Is Figurative Language?

Figurative language occurs when the intended meaning is different from the literal meaning of the words.

Adults use it constantly without realizing it.

Consider these common phrases:

“Hold your horses.”

“That costs an arm and a leg.”

“I’m all ears.”

“It’s a piece of cake.”

“You’re pulling my leg.”

If we interpret those statements literally, they don’t make much sense.

Children have to learn that words and phrases can communicate meaning beyond their exact definitions.

This requires increasingly sophisticated language processing.

Why Does My Child Take Everything Literally?

Young children naturally begin by understanding language more literally.

If you tell a preschooler:

“You’re on fire today!”

it’s understandable if they look concerned.

As children develop, they gradually learn to use context, previous knowledge, tone of voice, and information about the situation to determine what someone actually means.

For some children, that transition is more difficult.

They may understand the individual words perfectly but struggle to determine the speaker’s intended message.

For example:

Dad says:

“Can you give me a hand?”

A child interpreting the sentence literally understands every word—but may not recognize that Dad actually means:

“Can you help me?”

The difficulty isn’t necessarily vocabulary.

It’s understanding that language can have more than one layer of meaning.

What Are Idioms?

Idioms are expressions whose meanings can’t always be figured out simply by understanding the individual words.

Examples include:

• Break a leg
• Hit the road
• Spill the beans
• Under the weather
• On top of the world
• Hit the nail on the head
• Get cold feet
• Bite your tongue

Imagine learning English and hearing:

“Let’s hit the road.”

Nothing is actually being hit.

The speaker means:

“Let’s leave.”

Children encounter idioms in everyday conversations, books, television, school assignments, and interactions with peers.

Difficulty understanding them can lead to confusion even when a child’s basic vocabulary and grammar appear strong.

Sarcasm Can Be Even More Complicated

Sarcasm is especially challenging because sometimes the speaker says the exact opposite of what they mean.

Imagine someone drops an entire box of crayons on the floor.

Their friend says:

“Well, that went perfectly.”

The literal words suggest everything went well.

But the speaker’s tone, facial expression, and the situation tell us they actually mean:

“That definitely did not go perfectly.”

To understand the message, a child must integrate several pieces of information:

• The words being spoken
• What just happened
• Tone of voice
• Facial expression
• The speaker’s likely intention

That’s a lot of processing for one short sentence.

Understanding Humor Requires Language Skills Too

Jokes frequently depend on language having multiple meanings.

Consider:

“Why did the bicycle fall over?”

“Because it was two-tired!”

To understand the joke, a child has to recognize that “two-tired” sounds like “too tired” while also relating to a bicycle having two tires.

Humor may involve:

• Multiple-meaning words
• Sound similarities
• Unexpected meanings
• Figurative language
• Background knowledge
• Social context
• Inferences

A child may understand every sentence in a joke but still not understand why everyone else is laughing.

What Are Multiple-Meaning Words?

Many English words have several meanings.

Take the word bat.

It could mean:

🦇 An animal.

or

⚾ Something used in baseball.

The word bank could mean a place where money is kept—or the side of a river.

A watch can be something worn on your wrist or an action:

“Watch the dog.”

Children need to use the rest of the sentence and surrounding context to determine which meaning is intended.

This skill becomes increasingly important as academic language becomes more complex.

What Does “Reading Between the Lines” Mean?

Sometimes people don’t directly say what they mean at all.

Imagine a child asks:

“Can I go outside?”

Mom responds:

“Your homework is still sitting on the table.”

Mom didn’t actually say:

“No, you need to finish your homework first.”

But that’s probably the intended message.

Understanding it requires the child to make an inference.

An inference involves combining what someone said with information we already know to determine something that wasn’t directly stated.

Children use inference skills constantly.

Inference Skills Affect More Than Conversation

Imagine reading this sentence:

“Maya walked inside dripping wet and placed her umbrella beside the door.”

The sentence never says:

“It was raining.”

But most readers can infer that it probably was.

To make that inference, the child combines clues:

• Maya is wet.
• She has an umbrella.
• Umbrellas are commonly used in rain.

Inference skills are extremely important for reading comprehension.

As children get older, books provide less direct information and expect readers to figure things out themselves.

Children may need to infer:

• How a character feels
• Why someone acted a certain way
• What probably happened before
• What might happen next
• What a character intends
• The meaning of an unfamiliar word
• The author’s message

A child can read every word correctly and still struggle to understand the story if these higher-level language skills are difficult.

Why Does My Child Understand the Words but Still Miss the Meaning?

This can be particularly confusing for parents.

A child may have an excellent vocabulary.

They may speak in complete sentences.

Their speech may be perfectly clear.

Yet they still misunderstand conversations.

That’s because successful communication requires more than understanding individual words.

Children also have to integrate:

Words + context + previous knowledge + social information + speaker intention.

For example:

A parent walks into a child’s messy bedroom and says:

“Wow, this room is incredibly clean.”

The words themselves suggest praise.

The actual situation suggests the opposite.

Understanding the parent’s intended message requires looking beyond the literal sentence.

Figurative Language Becomes More Important at School

Younger children often receive relatively direct instructions.

“Put your paper in your folder.”

As children get older, classroom language becomes increasingly complex.

They encounter:

• Idioms
• Metaphors
• Similes
• Humor
• Multiple-meaning words
• Inferences
• Abstract vocabulary
• Implied information

Books also become more sophisticated.

Instead of explicitly saying:

“The character was nervous,”

a story might say:

“His hands shook as he reached for the doorknob.”

The reader is expected to infer the emotion.

Children with higher-level language difficulties may understand individual sentences but still struggle to understand the larger meaning of what they’re reading.

Social Situations Can Be Difficult Too

Figurative and implied language isn’t limited to academics.

Peers use it constantly.

Imagine one child asks another:

“Do you want to play basketball?”

The second child says:

“Maybe later.”

Sometimes “maybe later” genuinely means later.

Other times, it may be a polite way of declining.

Determining the meaning requires understanding the context and interaction, not simply the words.

Children who interpret language very literally may sometimes misunderstand:

• Jokes
• Teasing
• Friendly sarcasm
• Indirect requests
• Hints
• Peer intentions
• Changes in tone
• Implied meanings

These misunderstandings can sometimes lead to frustration or conflict.

Does Difficulty Understanding Sarcasm Mean Something Is Wrong?

Not necessarily.

Understanding nonliteral language develops gradually, and some forms of sarcasm are difficult even for older children.

Children also differ in personality, communication style, experience, and development.

One misunderstood joke isn’t concerning.

Instead, look at the overall pattern.

Does your child frequently become confused when people don’t communicate literally?

Does it affect school comprehension?

Does it interfere with conversations or peer relationships?

Do they regularly need figurative expressions explained?

Those patterns provide more useful information than any single example.

How Can Speech Therapy Help?

Speech-Language Pathologists work on much more than pronunciation.

SLPs can also help children develop higher-level receptive and expressive language skills.

Depending on the child’s needs, Speech Therapy may address:

• Understanding idioms
• Multiple-meaning words
• Figurative language
• Making inferences
• Using context clues
• Understanding humor
• Interpreting implied meanings
• Understanding increasingly complex vocabulary
• Predicting what might happen next
• Identifying a speaker’s intention
• Explaining reasoning
• Understanding stories
• Perspective-taking
• Social communication

The specific goals should depend on the individual child—not a generic social-skills checklist.

What Might Therapy Look Like?

Higher-level language therapy can be highly interactive.

Books and Stories

A therapist might pause and ask:

“The story doesn’t tell us how she feels. What clues could help us figure it out?”

Funny Pictures

Children can look at unusual situations and explain what doesn’t make sense.

Games

Games provide natural opportunities for predictions, flexible thinking, explanations, and conversation.

Short Videos

A therapist might pause before the ending and ask:

“What do you think is going to happen? What clues made you think that?”

Real-Life Scenarios

The therapist may present a situation:

“Your friend says, ‘Sure, whatever,’ while rolling their eyes. What might they actually mean?”

Instead of simply memorizing the “correct” answer, children can learn to identify which clues help them interpret the situation.

How Can Parents Help at Home?

You don’t need formal worksheets to build higher-level language.

Explain Expressions Naturally

If you say:

“We’re running late—let’s hit the road!”

you might add:

“That just means it’s time to leave. We’re definitely not hitting an actual road!”

Talk About Jokes

When your child doesn’t understand a joke, explain what makes it funny rather than simply saying:

“You don’t get it.”

Ask About Clues

While reading together, ask:

“How do you know the character is nervous even though the book didn’t tell us?”

Discuss Multiple Meanings

Turn it into a game.

“Can you think of two meanings for the word ‘light’?”

Make Predictions

While watching a show or reading a book:

“What do you think will happen next?”

Then follow with:

“What made you think that?”

That second question encourages children to explain their reasoning.

When Should Parents Consider a Speech-Language Evaluation?

Consider discussing an evaluation if your child frequently:

• Interprets language very literally
• Has difficulty understanding jokes
• Struggles with idioms or figurative expressions
• Has trouble understanding multiple-meaning words
• Misses implied meanings
• Has difficulty making inferences
• Struggles to determine why a character behaved a certain way
• Has trouble predicting what might happen next
• Understands individual sentences but struggles with overall reading comprehension
• Frequently misunderstands peer conversations
• Has difficulty using context to determine meaning
• Becomes frustrated by confusing or indirect language

A Speech-Language evaluation can help determine whether your child’s receptive language, higher-level language, social communication, vocabulary, or other communication skills may benefit from additional support.

Pediatric Speech Therapy in Joliet, IL

Language becomes increasingly complex as children grow.

Eventually, understanding exactly what someone says isn’t enough.

Children also need to understand what people mean.

Those skills help children understand books, participate in classroom discussions, follow conversations, enjoy humor, navigate friendships, and make sense of the world around them.

At BK Kids Pediatric Therapy, our Speech-Language Pathologists provide individualized, engaging Speech Therapy designed to help children strengthen communication skills that matter in everyday life.

Whether your child struggles with basic language development or more advanced skills such as inferences, figurative language, social communication, and reading comprehension, an evaluation can help identify their strengths and areas that may benefit from support.

BK Kids Pediatric Therapy is located in Joliet, Illinois, and serves families throughout Joliet, Plainfield, Shorewood, New Lenox, Lockport, Romeoville, Minooka, Channahon, Morris, Bolingbrook, Naperville, Oswego, Yorkville, Wilmington, and surrounding communities.

Contact BK Kids Pediatric Therapy to learn more about pediatric Speech Therapy or schedule a Speech-Language evaluation.